injury

I am afraid to write this post.

Why? Because my right calf hurts. A lot.

There is really only one topic on my mind today. Will I be able to run on November 1st?

Acknowledging the physical pain I am in means cutting back and/or stop running in order to properly heal. Not running means not being adequately prepared to race on November 1st.

Mentally, I'm just not sure I am ready to write this post.

I think I've mentioned over the past few months that my training for the ING NYC Marathon has been more than just about me putting in the miles.

I...

• changed my eating habits for the better
• weight train once or twice a week
• diligently practice yoga moves after each run and sometimes even throw an additional 30 minute session in on my off days
• have connected with a number of amazing people via running and sports blogs
• donated well over 500 non-perishable food items to my local food bank
• have a re-newed focus and energy for my professional work as a journalist
• am realizing more and more every day how incredible my husband is - for example, he has accompanied me to the trails on my 4 hour long-run days to show his support

I feel like a winner in so many amazing ways as a direct cause of being picked in the ING NYC Marathon lottery.

All that being said, I'm still upset. And I have every right to be.

On Sunday I woke up to crippling pain in my right calf. On Saturday I was fine. On Sunday morning - lots of pain. The kind of pain that makes you lean on furniture to get from one end of the room to another. I couldn't and I can't explain how I went from having an easy workout on Friday night and a rest day on Saturday to being one of the walking wounded on Sunday morning.

Being less than a month away from race day and realizing that I may have to stop my training and not run in the marathon hit home on Sunday. I was and am devastated - to the point of not wanting to even talk about how sad, angry and defeated I feel.

All of a sudden I understand just how important running in the ING NYC Marathon is to me.

I've devoted so much of my personal time and energy to getting ready for this race - to experience the excitement, the nervousness and the jubilation of running 26.2 miles in one of the greatest marathons in the world! - and during these past few days I feel like it has all been taken away - my future joys - my future accomplishments - and it is crushing me.

So what did I do on Sunday? What nearly every runner does. I tried to tough it out and figured there would be no harm in attempting to 'run off' the pain. You know the mentality. I'll go out and loosen up the tight muscles. Get fresh, oxygenated, healthy blood flowing through my calves. I got to mile 15 and realized I was favoring my left leg and stopped.

15 miles is pretty darn far, I know. So maybe I'm not as banged up as I think I am...or maybe my inner eternal optimist is trying to cheer me up.

The good news is that I took yesterday off and my right calf is feeling better. I plan on taking off tonight too.

I'm hoping that the pain will disappear as magically as it appeared.

I'm just not ready to give up on making it to the starting line come this November 1st.

For all those runners who have ever had to defer a race until next year or back out of competing in a race due to injury, you now have one more compassionate runner who feels your pain. It's a decision not taken lightly and I understand that more fully now.

If there is a silver lining to all of this - my husband has started running!

The same man who said, "I hate running" bought a new pair of running shoes and has been following a beginner's guide to running training program.

What's even more fantastic? We are flying out to celebrate Thanksgiving this year with my brother and we've signed up to run a 5k Turkey Trot out in Las Vegas together.

I already can't wait for our race day!

Related Links:

• Sidelined by calf pain
• Searching for the instant cure
• Diagnosis: Not recovered

Good reads today:

• A Wealth of Tips for Marathoners
• On the record with Doug Logan
   

Sylva Kassarjian is a licensed massage therapist who works at Therapeutic Kneads located in Highland Park, Illinois. She earned her certification from the Chicago School of Massage Therapy, now called the Cortiva Institute, in 1989. During her two decades of massage practice she has treated a number of runners training for marathons.

For runners wondering how their performance will improve with the use of massage, or why getting a deep tissue massage the day before your race is a bad idea, you'll want to read the email interview I conducted with Sylva below.

I am beginning to wonder if my running injuries are making me age faster. On the morning of my downtown Chicago excursion with friends I managed to clumsily bang the top of my right foot against the edge of our wooden sleigh bed. It was during the train ride back home, after walking 7 miles in the city of Chicago, that the pain from my foot was so excruciating that I actually took off my shoe and sock to examine my foot in public.

I’m finding it very hard to resist going for a walk. These past several days I have been massaging my calves, essentially in an effort to gently test how much pain I can effort from them, in an attempt to assess what state of injury I am currently in.

Diagnosis: Recovery. Not recovered.

Standing in the kitchen this morning I reminded myself that I should not do calf raises to pass the time while waiting for my bagel to toast. No extraneous activities. Which made me start probing my calf muscles again – to see how they were doing post-sleep.

Ugh. At least I will have survived day five, which only has two hours left before I post this message.